Yesterday it happened again - my lane of traffic was moving much more slowly than the one next to me. A long line of cars waited for and eventually took fleeting opportunities to quickly and nimbly jump to the other side of the road. Finally I saw an opening and made my own move, accelerating to match speed with the faster-moving line of cars. It didn't take very long to reach the head of the slow line I had just abandoned. It was a minivan. Again.
Based upon observations taken over the course of many years of commuting, I have developed a discipline that I humbly call "Minivan Theory." Here are its basic tenets:
1) Minivans will be found at the forefront of slow-moving lines of traffic far more often than other vehicle-types, when taken as a ratio of the number of a particular type of vehicle to the total number of vehicles traveling a given route at any given time. In other words, more often than not, when I pass a slow-moving row of cars, they will be led by a minivan.
2) The length of the line of cars behind the minivan will be roughly equivalent to the length of empty roadway between the minivan and the next car ahead of it.
My wife and I were driving home from a recent outing and found ourselves in the slow-moving lane. I pulled into the neighboring lane and in a matter of seconds we passed - you guessed it - a minivan. I made a comment roughly stating the first tenet of Minivan Theory set forth above. In all fairness, I also observed that it is clearly incorrect to state that all minivans are awkward and underpowered, or that all minivan drivers have nowhere to be and all the time in the world to spend in not getting there.
In return my wife pointed out, "At least he's in the lead. Look at all the people following him."
There was a brief silence as we simultaneously recognized the profundity of this remark. Oh, you could just hear the wheels in both our heads spinning - at speeds that minivan tires only dream of. Leadership by impediment - a clear-cut application of Minivan Theory! Together we realized that far too often people enjoy a position of leadership simply because those following can't get around them.
Leaders, maybe it's time we check carefully to see if people are following us because we're going somewhere important, or because we're just in the way.
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1 comment:
As a longtime minivan driver, I must add my own observation here. I notice the same thing at bank drive lanes. A minivan will always take longer to clear the customer service tube. And, over the years, I've observed that most minivan drivers are women. That's because most minivan buyers are families and Mom ends up driving the van more than Dad.
And, women tend to be more cautious. So, this may explain your minivan theory.
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