In The News...

From news reports I've seen this week:

Headline: Illinois-shaped flake joins cultural exhibit
This, of course, is about a corn flake sold on eBay for $1350.00. Now it's part of a traveling "cultural exhibit." Yeah, that's right, France, we've got the corn flake! Bet that stupid Louvre looks pret-ty shabby now, huh?
"That's the most perfectly Illinois-shaped corn flake I've ever seen," said Jon Wolf (curator of TriviaMania.com) as he accepted the flake, swaddled in a cotton-lined jewelry box.
Kind of makes you wonder if he's spent a lot of time looking for one ...
And we wonder why no one takes America seriously.
__________________________________________________________

Headline: Paris Hilton goes on safari
To start with, this sounds like the perfect title for a homemade YouTube spoof. The possibilities are just endless...
And then I was struck with a mental picture of Paris Hilton at a press conference wearing designer khaki safari gear and a Patricia Underwood pith helmet. Please understand - as far as I know, the following scenario never took place:
Cameras flash, reporters hang on Paris' every word as she recounts the moving experience, "Before I went on safari I just had no idea of the terrible living conditions of third world animals like lions and zebras and ... stuff. They have to like, drink dirty water and eat raw meat and leaves without salad dressing and ... stuff ... just to live. I'm dedicating my life and all the profits from my last movie to improving the lives of wild animals in Africa and ... stuff. And my sweet little dog, Tinkerbell, is going to be the new spokesperson for my foundation and ... stuff. Can you still call them a spokesperson if they only bark and ... stuff? I want to make sure all the animals of the world get to live in pretty zoos and learn great tricks and ... stuff ... so they can get treats and ... stuff. That would be HAWT!"
________________________________________________________________

Headline: Japanese aim to launch paper craft from space
Yeah, no kidding.
Japanese scientists and origami masters hope to launch a paper airplane from space and learn from its trip back to Earth.
Apparently the plan is to toss some (number currently undetermined) specially-made paper airplanes into the wake of the International Space Station and see how well they survive reentry into Earth's atmosphere. And while there is no way to track the planes on their return trip, there is a plan in place that, it is hoped, will at least allow scientists to find out where they landed.
Suzuki (the project leader) and Toda (head of the Japan Origami Airplane Association) plan to write a message of peace on the planes in several languages, along with a request for anyone spotting them to notify the team.
"Just imagine, children around the world would be anxiously waiting for the return of our origami shuttle, perhaps looking up into the sky from time to time," Suzuki said. "That would be great fun."
Obviously, Japanese children aren't raised with sufficient repetition of the warning, "You could put somebody's eye out with that!" In America we know better than to launch paper airplanes from a height of 250 miles in the hope that children will be watching for them.
After all, we're the nation with a corn flake shaped like Illinois.
So, aside from the risk to children's eyes everywhere, how many irreplaceable acres of forest and jungle will be destroyed when ignited by flaming paper airplanes from space?

Hey, Flaming Paper Airplanes from Outer Space! Sounds like a good spoof video. Or maybe it could be a theatrical release, starring Paris Hilton. She could use the money to buy corn flakes for underprivileged African lions ...