A Strange and Wonderful Land

It was a strange and wonderful place. A land of spinning women and strange flying contraptions. Where anyone could aspire to anything - even the throne of power.

No, it isn't some fantasy world in a storybook - it's the United States of America, and it's right now. A few websites recently reminded me of just how strange and wonderful this place is.

First, and leaning more toward the strange than the wonderful, is this woman's unique use of an escalator:

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=bZYuRk1pFO0&feature=related

Even more curious is the fact that this video is related to a video of two young moose playing in a sprinkler.



Second, I think this image is just wonderful:

http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0807/isssun_wagner_big.jpg

It's quite large, and if your browser shrinks it to fit the window, you'll probably miss its impact. Do whatever you have to in order to see it full-size. Scroll around below and left of center until you see the silhouette against the orb.
Here's the credit and a brief explanation from the Astronomy Picture of the Day site ( http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html )
Credit & Copyright: Martin Wagner That's no sunspot. It's the International Space Station (ISS) caught by chance passing in front of the Sun.
If you click this link after 7/30, you'll be taken to a different picture - you can still read the full explanation by entering the archives and selecting July 30.



And finally, spanning the gamut from strange to wonderful, is:

http://www.votesmart.org/election_president_search.php?type=alpha

This site lists 2008 presidential candidates. Did you know that there are over 250 announced candidates, and many more who are potentially running?

I think it is wonderful that strange people like these can run for the highest office in the land, and arguably the most powerful political office in the world. Please don't think I am making fun of these people. I do find humor in some of their names and ideas, but it is not my intention to belittle them. After all, these folks are a large part of what it means to live in a free country:

James Harlin Carter - Nicknames include "Goatroper" and "Peanut." That should look good on the Official Stationery.

Emperor Caesar - Lists as his political experience - "Candidate, United States President, 2008." Can you cite this year's campaign as a qualification for this year's election?
"So, Mr. Smith, you'd like a job as a nuclear engineer. What's your experience in the field?"
"Well, I've applied for this job..."

Doing the previous candidate's ostentatious name one (or more) better - HRM Caesar St Augustine De Buonaparte Emperor. I think HRM stands for "His Royal Majesty."
And as if the name didn't say it all, here's a quote from someone who claims to have actually corresponded with Mr. Buonaparte:
I present - HRM Caesar St. Augustine de Buonaparte, true Angel of God and Emperor of the United States of Turtle Island of the continent of North Pangaea. Or as you and I know it, the USA. During the 1990s HRM Buonaparte wrote to then President, Bill Clinton, declaring war on the United States and declaring himself as Emperor. He then claimed that Clinton's failure to respond to his letter was an implicit acceptance of defeat by the US regime and he has assumed the role of Emperor ever since.
( http://hilaryfortnum.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14 )
I guess we should all be thankful he hasn't done away with free elections.

Yaphet Kotto - THE Yaphet Kotto? Isn't he already some kind of prince in Cameroon?

Andy Clown Miannay - Need I say more?

Jesus Bilal Islam Allah 'Alfred Lawrence Patterson' Muhammed - I don't know much about Islam, but I'm fairly sure most Muslims would take a dim view of someone appropriating the name of Allah and adding it to a list that includes Jesus. Most followers of Jesus probably just think he's nuts.

Ole' Savior - Lists this as his Favorite Quote:
O God save us in loving service.
In life, death, sex and rebirth to save.
Love to be free, free to be me, free to give myself to thee.
By: O.Savior
I think he'd have been better off with a quote from Yogi Berra (or Yogi Bear, for that matter).

Vermin Love 'Sparky' Supreme - Running on a "mandatory toothbrushing" platform.

Watchman - The one thing he would most like to do before he dies? "Marry for the third time."

BTW - I'm not voting for either McCain or Obama (collectively "McBama"). Hopefully, somewhere among the endless ranks of the strange who are running for office, I can find someone wonderful. Or at least capable. Hell, I'll settle for nearly-adequate.

No News Is Good News

Nothing in the news this past week caught my attention, but I did get a chuckle at a restaurant yesterday. If you're familiar with Elephant Bar restaurants, then you're acquainted with the place I'm talking about. That's because it's an Elephant Bar.

Anyway, when the server (Johnie) brought our meals, he kindly left a bottle of a condiment that I love. Sadly, I never use it in restaurants because it contains high-fructose corn syrup. But there was a comment on the label that caught my attention: "PACKAGED FOR SERVICE IN FINE RESTAURANTS."

Yeah, because nothing says "fine dining" quite like the upside-down, plastic squeeze-bottle of Heinz Ketchup.

BTW - if you're ever at the Elephant Bar, try the Blackened Ahi Sandwich and a mojito. That there is some fine dining, yessiree!

Border Disputes at the Edge of the Universe

Scientists say our universe is expanding. This raises the question, "Expanding where?" Is there some sort of empty space outside our universe? Or is there absolutely nothing there, in which case our universe must be creating more "universe stuff" somewhere? Or is our universe sprawling into someone else's universe?

I certainly hope not. I don't even like for my tree branches to overhang my neighbor's yard. I really wouldn't want to encroach on someone's whole universe.

I wonder if there's a universe out there, somewhere, where astronomers look through their big ol' telescopes and say, "Our universe is contracting. It is being overrun by another, expanding universe. In 85 billion years or so, this other universe will have completely obliterated our own."

Would that cause unrest? Could "universal contraction" become a hot-button political issue on some planet in that universe? Would people raise a cry for better immigration laws and border security? Would governments draw a line in space and say, "This far and no farther!" Might they even go to war to put an end to the threat?

Maybe somewhere there's a guy blogging, "I wonder if there are people in that universe that's spreading into ours. Do they realize what they're doing? Can they stop it? Do they like Zlxichthyliglimch fries?"

News Roundup

When I started this blog, I intended to make the News Roundup a regular Friday feature. So far the only thing regular about my blog is its irregularity. Nevertheless, here are a few strange stories and my thoughts on them.

From Alabama:

A woman driving a Mercedes saw a goat and a dog playing on an Alabama highway. When she stopped, afraid they would get hit, the goat jumped on the car and wouldn't come down. She called the Sheriff's Department. A deputy got the goat down and put it in his patrol car, but then the dog jumped into his back seat, too.

This may be the most amazing story I have ever read. I am just in complete shock. It doesn't even seem possible.

There's a Mercedes in Alabama?

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From the Friendly Skies:

Some wayward ticks delayed a United Airlines flight from Denver to Des Moines. Flight 1178 was delayed for nearly six hours after a passenger informed a flight attendant that she found a tick in economy class during a flight from Washington, D.C., to Denver.

1) The airlines thought they'd found one more way to suck blood out of passengers, but they got caught.

2) "I'm sorry you lost your pet ticks, Timmy. If we don't find them, we can get you some more when we get home. Do you have any idea where you might have left them?"

3) If it had been Southwest, the ticks would have claimed discrimination and sued the airline.

4) "No, Ahmed, it does not appear that we will be able to insert explosives into ticks and blow up airplanes in flight. Stupid Americans won't fly with ticks on the plane."

5) United Airlines announced a 15% increase in ticket prices to cover the installation of giant flea collars on all their airplanes.

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From Left Field:

A man says he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while worshipping. Now he wants his church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering. He says he was asking God to have "a real experience" while praying. He also says he has fallen from the force of the spirit before but has always been caught by someone.

OK, I was going to make some comments about a new twist on the prosperity gospel, or maybe that he should have prayed for some other kind of experience, or perhaps pointing out that it seems unlikely that God would bowl him over at the wrong place and time. But I am just so flabbergasted, I really have nothing to say. Fortunately the story is so ludicrous that I don't need to say anything.