News Roundup

Wow - it's been two weeks since my last post. I guess time flies even when you aren't having all that much fun. Or maybe a torn rotator cuff, an MRI and physical therapy all qualify as fun.

Anyway, here's the news across the nation! I have got the information! In a way I hope will amuse...youse. Ladies and gents, here's my take on the news!
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We'll start with a story that covers both the food beat and the nutcase fringe, and even incorporates a quote from a classic movie:

PETA wants Ben & Jerry's to offer ice cream made from mothers' milk instead of cows' milk.

I'm not exactly sure why this is gross. It just is. And I really, really, really don't want to know what PETA would like for McDonalds to use instead of beef on their burgers. "It's people... Next thing they'll be breeding us like cattle for food..." --Charlton Heston as Detective Robert Thorn in that 1973 sci-fi movie - you know the one - or if not, check out #77 on this list of the American Film Institute's top 100 movie quotations in American cinema: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AFI
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From the realm of science and technology:

A Swiss adventurer using a jet-propelled wing has flown across the English Channel from France to Dover in less than 10 minutes.

Good thing Switzerland is a neutral country. Otherwise they could land a skilled soldier in England only 10 minutes after the fall of France.
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In the Politically Correct corner we have this story:

In London, Olympic organizers issued a mandate that at least some toilets in the 2012 Olympic park do not face the holy Islamic city of Mecca. Muslims face Mecca when they pray, but generally do not believe they should do the same when using the toilet.

Hey, I'll sell them a design for a toilet with a rotating seat, so people can face any direction they want to!
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And finally, in the closely-related fields of unpleasant bodily functions, disgusting bodily fluids, and college fraternity life:

Eight to 10 members of an Arizona State University fraternity are believed to have caused a car accident by vomiting milk onto traffic below an ASU footbridge on University Drive Tuesday night. It is unknown why the men were drinking and vomiting the milk.

Has anyone thought it just might have something to do with the phrase, "members of an Arizona State University fraternity?"
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"Good night, Chet."
"Good night, David. And good night for NBC News..."

Or, from a rather lower-brow perspective - "Mnee...Mnaaa...Mnaaa...Mnooo...Mn -n- That's all, folks!"

Or, to wrap it all up more or less the way it started - "Say good night, Dick."
"Good night, Dick."