Fried News Day

Associated Press
LONDON - Nuclear-armed submarines from Britain and France collided in the Atlantic Ocean earlier this month, authorities acknowledged Monday.

Let's see - the Atlantic Ocean covers about 11,000 square miles...
Nuclear submarines can dive to at least 800 feet...
Nuclear submarines displace about 900,000 cubic feet...
So, 11,000 square miles, 800 feet deep = about 1600 cubic miles...
1 cubic mile = 147,197,952,000 cubic feet...
At 800 feet deep, that leaves them with about 235,516,723,200,000 cubic feet of water to run around in...
Therefore, each submarine takes up about .0000004% of the usable volume of the Atlantic Ocean.

And they ran into each other...
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Associated Press
DENVER - One of two Colorado men who used women's thong underwear to cover their faces while they robbed a convenience store has been sentenced to 12 years in prison.

In spite of his lawyer's brilliant defense strategy, the jury remained convinced that two thongs do not make a right.
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Associated Press
NATICK, Mass.- Police say a worker at a Massachusetts Dunkin' Donuts slashed the tires on a customer's Jeep after the two got into an argument Tuesday.

The Dunkin' Donuts' employee was held in lieu of bond - 3 dozen glazed, 2 dozen chocolate-frosted, 10 dozen assorted, and a box of munchkins (for the officer on a diet)...
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Associated Press
An odd, greenish backward-flying comet is zipping by Earth this month, as it takes its only trip toward the sun from the farthest edges of the solar system.
While all the planets and most of the other objects in the solar system circle the sun counterclockwise, Comet Lulin circles clockwise, said NASA astronomer Stephen Edberg. "It essentially is going backwards through the solar system," he said.

Although flying ass-backward through the solar system, Comet Lulin still managed to avoid colliding with any British or French satellites.