Wry Grass --OR-- a Little Rye Humor

You may have seen the commercials for Scotts EZ Seed Winter Lawn Mix.  It's advertised as a regional winter grass, fertilizer and seed-protecting mulch all in one.

I rarely plant a winter lawn; it's really nice to have a break from mowing and so on.  Of course, this past summer, Pam handled a lot of the mowing, so I guess I don't have much to complain about.  So, since we are having a lot of company around the resort this winter, Pam was easily able to convince me that we should plant a winter lawn.

I went online and printed out the $10.00 off coupon, and then headed to Homey D's place to see if Scotts valued their EZ Seed as highly as I feared they would.  Yeah - pretty much.  $90.00 for a bag that would cover about 2/3 of our small lawn.  So, $180.00 minus the $10.00 coupon, leaves $170.00 for 600 square feet of green to mow and weed-eat.  There was a guy there, either from Scotts or Home Depot marketing, who was trying to convince folks that EZ Seed is the best thing since Tom Sawyer's picket fence.  Tom was much better at his craft.  I bought all the seed I needed, and all the mulch I needed to cover it, for $35.00.  I already had enough Milorganite, my choice of lawn fertilizers, to do the job.

Milorganite is not only a great fertilizer, using it helps the good folks of Milwaukee dispose of their sewage in a constructive manner.  And give the city credit - years ago, when I was in the nursery business, Milorganite bags bore a stern warning against using them on food crops, due to the presence of the heavy metal, cadmium.  Not to be confused with the company that makes those disgusting candy eggs at Easter time, although they appeal to me just about as much as eating sewer sludge, with or without heavy metals.  But I don't eat either one, and Milorganite no longer carries that warning, presumably due to successful clean-up efforts.

Now, I admit that, with the grass seed, the mulch, and the fabled Milorganite, I had to open 6 bags instead of two.  I had to mix the seed and fertilizer by hand, and spread the mulch afterward.  On the other hand, I'm not overly worried about the ingredients in any of those bags, which I can't say as easily about the Scotts product.  Organic vs. chemically-manufactured fertilizer aside, what in the world do you suppose goes into the crap that swells up when it gets wet, so that it covers the seed?

In the final analysis, I'm happy to spend 1/3 as much for twice as many bags and a little extra work.  OK, if I had to buy the Milorganite, it would have pushed the price up another almost-30-dollars.  Still well short of the alternative.

So, here I sit, enjoying the fresh smell of composted mulch, typing this little rambling rattle, waiting for the grass to grow.  I must admit, the saying "as exciting as watching grass grow" has suddenly taken on a remarkable reality of meaning for me.

Have They No Shepherd?

Pam and I were driving home from San Diego a while back, and as we passed through El Centro, I pointed some sheep in a field on the south side of the Interstate.

"Oh, have they no shepherd?" she asked.

Without even thinking, I replied, "They don't need a shepherd, they have fences."

It was one of those times when God spoke through both of us, and we didn't even know it until we heard ourselves talking.  I can picture God sitting on his throne, saying to the angles and elders and living creatures, "Wait for it ... waaaaiiit foorrrr iiiitt ..."

And in a few seconds it hit both of us.  It's really easier for the sheep and for the shepherd if the flock is confined behind fences.  That's why industrial church relies so heavily on directing by teaching/preaching and so little on leading by example.  It's why the flock is so content to live far from the fullness of God's goodness and freedom, for fear of doing something sinful.

And it's a lot more, too.  Yet another chapter for the book ...

Dealing with a signage infection

OK, I've been pretty harsh about some church signs, and maybe someone is wondering if I have anything constructive to say, and not just criticisms.  In other words, I've talked a lot about what church signs shouldn't say, but can I give suggestions for what they should say?

Maybe.

First, I have to say that church signs are a lot like church meetings - it takes a pretty good one to be better than none at all.  Fortunately, many churches do have pretty good meetings.  So, make the sign look like your meetings.  Because that's what people will think anyway - what you say on your sign is what you say in your meetings.  Like making fun of people you supposedly are trying to love in a godly way.  Making jokes about them going to hell, which you claim is so terrible you don't want anyone to end up there.  Maybe even make your sign look like you wish your meetings looked.

How about putting the name of a serviceman/woman on the sign thus, "We're praying today for PFC John Doe, in Afghanistan.  Come home safely, John."

Naturally, you'll have to actually have someone at the building praying for that person.  If you're really committed to doing good things, change the name every day and make sure that someone in the church building carries through with the promise.  Every day.

Maybe even something like this, "Come on in and join us - we're praying for PFC John Doe, in Afghanistan."

Lost child in the news? "Come on in and join us - we're praying for Amber Doe."

You could set a time frame, though it would be really cool not to have to.  "Come on in and join us - we're praying for Amber Doe.  9:00-11:00 A.M."

Naturally, this approach requires that someone change the sign frequently.  Every day would not be too often.  Someone would have to do some research to know who to pray for, and how.  Someone would have to be available at the church building to actually be in prayer, and to make others welcome should they choose to join in.  Someone would have to do some real work battling the enemy, instead of firing random mortar rounds into the enemy's already-conquered territory.  Because we aren't fighting the people who read those signs - we're fighting the spiritual lord who has taken them as a conquest.  And if he laughs at our jokes, it's only because they help his cause.

Well, that's one constructive suggestion.  Mark that off my list of things to do ...