Wry Grass --OR-- a Little Rye Humor

You may have seen the commercials for Scotts EZ Seed Winter Lawn Mix.  It's advertised as a regional winter grass, fertilizer and seed-protecting mulch all in one.

I rarely plant a winter lawn; it's really nice to have a break from mowing and so on.  Of course, this past summer, Pam handled a lot of the mowing, so I guess I don't have much to complain about.  So, since we are having a lot of company around the resort this winter, Pam was easily able to convince me that we should plant a winter lawn.

I went online and printed out the $10.00 off coupon, and then headed to Homey D's place to see if Scotts valued their EZ Seed as highly as I feared they would.  Yeah - pretty much.  $90.00 for a bag that would cover about 2/3 of our small lawn.  So, $180.00 minus the $10.00 coupon, leaves $170.00 for 600 square feet of green to mow and weed-eat.  There was a guy there, either from Scotts or Home Depot marketing, who was trying to convince folks that EZ Seed is the best thing since Tom Sawyer's picket fence.  Tom was much better at his craft.  I bought all the seed I needed, and all the mulch I needed to cover it, for $35.00.  I already had enough Milorganite, my choice of lawn fertilizers, to do the job.

Milorganite is not only a great fertilizer, using it helps the good folks of Milwaukee dispose of their sewage in a constructive manner.  And give the city credit - years ago, when I was in the nursery business, Milorganite bags bore a stern warning against using them on food crops, due to the presence of the heavy metal, cadmium.  Not to be confused with the company that makes those disgusting candy eggs at Easter time, although they appeal to me just about as much as eating sewer sludge, with or without heavy metals.  But I don't eat either one, and Milorganite no longer carries that warning, presumably due to successful clean-up efforts.

Now, I admit that, with the grass seed, the mulch, and the fabled Milorganite, I had to open 6 bags instead of two.  I had to mix the seed and fertilizer by hand, and spread the mulch afterward.  On the other hand, I'm not overly worried about the ingredients in any of those bags, which I can't say as easily about the Scotts product.  Organic vs. chemically-manufactured fertilizer aside, what in the world do you suppose goes into the crap that swells up when it gets wet, so that it covers the seed?

In the final analysis, I'm happy to spend 1/3 as much for twice as many bags and a little extra work.  OK, if I had to buy the Milorganite, it would have pushed the price up another almost-30-dollars.  Still well short of the alternative.

So, here I sit, enjoying the fresh smell of composted mulch, typing this little rambling rattle, waiting for the grass to grow.  I must admit, the saying "as exciting as watching grass grow" has suddenly taken on a remarkable reality of meaning for me.